What happens when you cancel a wedding

So, since we decided to cancel the wedding plans we had made, I’ve learned a couple of things. First, I need to find a better way to say that. I need to be more sensitive. When people ask how the planning is going, I laugh and blurt out, “Oh. Hahahahaha. We cancelled it!” and this deep look of pain and concern crosses their face and they get all awkward and they don’t know what to say and I let it go on for about a second longer than I probably should before I clarify “Oh, no. We’re still getting married, we just aren’t getting married when we were planning to get married.” They say, “So, you postponed?” Sure. Okay.

We were in the midst of planning the wedding so I still think cancelling is the right term, but postponing seems to make other people feel better and, let’s be honest: the less I have to talk about wedding planning, THE BETTER.

Did I give you a different impression? Here? Or maybe here? Yeah, I can see that. When it came to the details, I was interested in them and I had fun considering them, but I still wasn’t sold on the whole actually having a wedding part.

I never dreamed of having a wedding. Not in all my life. In fact, I was the opposite. I remember saying to myself at a very young age – perhaps inspired by the wedding of Charles and Diana, but more likely by one of my mom’s episodes of All My Children – I am never getting married because I will NEVER kiss someone in front of all those people. (Evidently, I had strong feelings on PDAs early on as well.)

I learned a lot in the process of planning half of a wedding and I learned a lot in the process of tearing one down. Things like:

You lose your deposits. 

We were lucky with this one. We’ve surrounded ourselves with amazing and talented people who were willing to step into some of the heftier costing roles involved in making a wedding happen just for the honour of being a part of ours. We had a super talented photographer and a warm and loving commissioner who we know personally and, though it was sad to have disappointed them, both understood when we told them we weren’t going ahead with our plans.

As far as our venue goes, we got lucky with this one, too. We had signed a contract and in our contract, we were committed to pay 50% of the estimated revenue from our event. That cost increased to 75% if we crossed the 90-day prior to the date mark. When we initiated this discussion, we were about 94 days out. That made it that much more important for us to commit either way and to do so quickly. In the end, the kind and generous manager at our venue, offered to knock it back to 25% again. Bless your heart, Kacia.

As far as flowers, cakes, everything else was concerned, we had already picked our providers, but hadn’t yet committed to anything so we were off the hook there. I do still have my dress which I’ll have to decide whether to wear or to sell (or to both.)

You have invitations to recall.

Recalling the invitations is etiquette’s cute little way of avoiding saying that you’re canceling your wedding.

If you’ve sent invitations or even save the date cards, consensus says that you have to go through the process of recalling them. You are not required to explain why or even to go heavily into the details of whether it will happen at another time or not at all, but etiquette says you can’t just leave already invited guests hanging.

At the time when we cancelled, we had sent save the dates, but I was in the process of agonizing over ordering invitations. (Phew!) We had such a small invitation list (22 in total, six of them children) that we mostly told everyone ourselves, but since we had sent a formal communication, it only felt right to send one correcting the original. Our save the date cards had been pretty casual (deep sigh – how I loved our save the date cards…) so our recall cards were equally low-key. We sent these thank you cards (because we truly were feeling grateful) with a photo of us and the following printed on the back.

Thank you for your love and support while we planned our wedding in Long Beach. We have since decided to rethink our plans – not our marriage, just the ceremony. Our wedding for June 11th has been cancelled and we will update you when we know more about how, when and where we will proceed. xo

If your wedding was more formal, a more formal recall might be in order. (For example, something from your parents vs from you directly.) There’s a lot of information online. Here are some of the most comprehensive and helpful posts I found.

A few things we didn’t do: make a public announcement (although, maybe this counts) and return the wedding gifts we had received. I followed up with the gift givers and told them that we would be returning them, but all insisted that we keep them. (Pleasure delayer that I am, they are all on a shelf in the closet because it doesn’t feel right to use them until we are actually married.)

You have a lot of explaining to do.

People ask without really asking. And once they knew that we were still going to get married at some point and there hadn’t been some catastrophic revelation about our relationship, they asked outright.

The truth of it was that it wasn’t shaping up to be what we had anticipated. Our vision was of one where our families would meet for the first time, spend time together, get to know one another and develop some relationships. We anticipated spending time with this mesh of my side and his side and making these amazing memories with our blended family.

Time revealed that, while my side was planning to travel and spend a whole week with us leading up to and following our Sunday afternoon wedding, his side was not planning on spending more than a day or two with us. We calculated the amount of that time that we would lose for wedding preparation and nonsense (because there is always nonsense) and if we were really lucky and timed it perfectly, we *might* get to spend one meal with everyone together. From there, the calculation of cost – for us and for travelers and every single person involved was traveler – it didn’t meet that standard everyone lectured us on from day one to uphold: WHAT WE WANTED.

So, we let go. And everyone understood.

You will feel better about it. 

I mean, if you’re like us you will. Though, it was under very different circumstances, this bride-to-be wrote the following in her account of the things she wishes she’d been told when she cancelled her wedding. I couldn’t agree more.

The important factor is the wave of relief that washed over me when I thought about canceling my nuptials. Relief is different from excitement…

I felt relieved. Honestly. When we made our decision, we had a much better gauge on how we wanted our wedding to play out – the things that were wants and the things that were needs, the whos, the whats, the wheres, the whens. We still don’t have that all figured out, but when I asked Kevin what he learned, he replied with the following (over several text messages.)

That you really have to follow what you want and envision and if doesn’t feel like that’s what you’re getting then don’t settle. Because it should be a one time thing and it’s about the two people getting married not about anyone else.

Plus, no matter how tiny, it’s way too much  – emotional and financial investment – to not have the memories you want to have.

You have to decide what to do next.

Oh, man, this is the tough one. We still aren’t there yet. We look at elopement and tiny wedding packages at all kinds of destinations all the time. We go to places and say, “we could get married here.” It’s equally possible that we’ll end up at a courthouse – in BC or somewhere else. I think the biggest lesson we learned was that the minor details weren’t really important to us. All that really matters is that we are there together, that the setting is one that we both enjoy and that we are happy. Considering that’s basically how we’ve lived the last six+ years of our life, I’m confident we’ll figure it out on our own time.

A little thing that is kind of big + my first chowdery

Oh. My. Word. I sat across from a woman using a new rose gold MacBook at Starbucks the other day. So compact. So pretty. I don’t often suffer from electronic envy, but whoa.

***

Yesterday was a pretty good, fun and definitely unhibernated day. We got up and ran some errands (with the move so recently behind us, it seems like we will never be short on errands to run!) then we got ready and headed downtown. We had family & friends in from back east and since we didn’t get it together enough to have overnight guests yet (the screws that hold the guest bed together have got to be around here somewhere…) they got a hotel room in the city instead. We were all heading to the hockey game, but en route to Rogers Arena, Kevin and I decided to take a detour and get something to eat before the game. I love my Maui Fire Veggie Dogs, but I knew they weren’t really jiving with my recent commitment to clean eating. Besides, a new chowder shop had opened up this year in Kevin’s work neighbourhood and he’s been wanting to try it for a while.

We took the four-ish block walk from Stadium-Chinatown Skytrain station and found our quaint little Crab Park Chowdery close to the heart of Gastown. It is a cute little restaurant with a lovely warm glow. I opted for vegan chili while Kevin had the clam chowder in a bread bowl. I adore their presentation on wooden board complete with a logo and spoon holder. The chili was good and served with a few small slices of bread on the side. I snuck a taste of Kevin’s chowder, though just enough to determine that it has a unique flavour to it, though not enough to name it. He raved about it. (We only found out later that they have some scrumptious looking desserts. Probably a good thing.) We drank water, but they had craft sodas (including, of course, Dickie’s.) Find Crab Park Chowdery on Facebook or Instagram. Or in real life at 221 Abbott Street.

***

March was a big month for us. A big, long, life-changing month. Sure, we’re mostly over Nick proposing to Vanessa instead of Raven and we’ve managed to move onto bigger and mostly better things. In point form:

  1. We moved into our new place.
  2. We cancelled our wedding.

Point one: this place is bigger, brighter, prettier, higher up and a million times better, but you already know about that.

Point two: from the moment we got engaged, all anyone said was, “do what YOU want to do.” One day, a few weeks back, we reflected on what our wedding was becoming and asked ourselves, “is this what WE want?” and “IS this what we want?” The best we could answer was “sort of?” So, we scrapped it.

I’ve seen four distinct responses so far.

My family: “What? But we wanted to be at your wedding…”

His family: “That’s okay. We get it. Do what you gotta do.”

Others: “What??? I’m so sorry.” And then when I laugh about it, they look like they’re going to cry and then they eventually come around.

Amy: Totally, completely, 100% support in action. (I’m not really sure she even said a word.)

Honestly, we’re good with it. And someday I’ll probably tell you more.

For now, back to the drawing board…

Wedding Wednesday: the dress

I’ve learned a lot about wedding dresses over the past couple of months. Mostly I’ve confirmed what I suspected in the first place: that I am not overly interested in them.

Now, let me be clear. I learned many things about wedding dresses in the process of finding mine. For one, they are GORGEOUS. Even if you haven’t spent your entire life dreaming about a specific dress or studying the styles, fabrics, details that are featured on them, there is no denying that the intricacy of a dress is awe-inspiring. This is a fact to which I hadn’t given a whole lot of credit up until a few months ago.

Kevin is SUPER superstitious about not seeing my dress. He wouldn’t even look at the opaque bag that carried it when we brought it to my parents’ house from the shop. So, out of respect for him – because he always reads my posts – I won’t go into great or specific detail here. I will, however. share a few tips and tricks that I learned along the way.

One thing that became really important to me after we decided to get married was to maximize our time while we are engaged. I wanted to take in all the traditional events and immerse ourselves in the experiences. The first of those things was trying on wedding dresses.

I honestly hadn’t given much thought to shopping for a dress until Amy mentioned doing it while she and her family were here for my birthday. We perused the options for a visit to New West’s Bridal District and selected the one that seemed fanciest. I was game for going, but I wasn’t going to shop around so we were limited to one stop that day. I’m not a shopper and I could mentally prepare for the appointment, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to deal with two or more. We chose The Bridal Gallery as our destination, Canada’s largest wedding apparel store. I had no intention of buying my wedding gown there, but I wanted to get the full meal deal of wedding gown shopping. I don’t know where I thought I’d actually buy my dress, but I warned everyone ahead of time that we weren’t buyers on our outing. (I have no idea where or how I thought I would somehow magically end up with a wedding dress  otherwise, but this was the plan.) We booked a visit on my birthday and I rounded up my group: my matron of honour Amy, my mom and two of my aunts, though only one of my aunts was able to make it.

Tip one: Keep the group small and intimate. Most of the places we encountered limited brides to a maximum of four guests anyway, but I can’t imagine more than that. This is a limitation likely well founded since a couple of friends who did opt for bringing large groups to select their dresses found themselves annoyed, frustrated and overwhelmed in their crowded atmospheres. (Though, another couple of friends loved the experience of having a large group.)

We arrived at the appointment and were greeted at the front door. Our consultant introduced herself and walked us through room after room full of dresses, down several hallways and up even more stairs.

Tip two: They will make you take off your shoes. Nobody in my party was really prepared for that. Not a deal breaker, obviously, but it was a little annoying. They also won’t let you in with a coffee or any other beverage. All those Say Yes to the Dress shows on TV? Yeah, there are no mimosas in real life. Not in my experience, anyway.

We were booked into “The Vault” where we got a little more acquainted with our consultant and started talking about dresses (something I know nothing about. Don’t worry, I owned it.) She asked me things like do I like lace? (who doesn’t?), do I prefer chiffon or tulle? (what’s the difference?), how much “bling” am I into? (depends), what style of dress do I want? (what?)

I was a blank slate. I had opened nary a book nor visited a website. I was there for the experience and I was determined to get it. The legwork would be the consultant’s. Ever the professional, she assigned each of us with the task of picking one dress for me to try on. From there we would narrow down the things I liked, the things I didn’t, the looks that worked, the looks that didn’t.

If you have specific ideas of what you want or even a dress already picked out, now is the time when you’ll show and tell.

Tip three: Know what you want. Or don’t. I’d heard so many stories about women buying the exact opposite dress from the one they had in mind or having said an initial big old hell no to their dress only to fall in love when they tried it on. I was determined to save myself the drama of having to kiss a dream dress goodbye or to be super disappointed when something I thought would be perfect really wasn’t. Also, I’m lazy. 

In The Vault, there is a little pedestal for the bride to stand on and a motorized curtain that opens and closes around it. You start inside, the consultant closes the curtain around you, you put the dress on, the consultant comes in and ties you up, buttons you up, clips and cinches the dress to best replicate what it would look like after sizing and alterations have been completed. (It’s a science!) Once you’re all strapped in, back up on the pedestal you go and the curtain automatically opens to reveal you and your dress to your audience. Tada!

You discuss. You critique. You adore. You compare. You vote for. You veto.

Then onto the next dress.

Tip four: Prepare for a parade of cliches. “One man, one dress.” It’s their job to operate that way and they play up the emotional side. I’m mostly immune to that angle so all it really did was get a little annoying.

When the curtain was closing the first time, there was this second when I became acutely aware of the environment. I had all this “you waited this long for the right man to come along…” stuff being said which anyone who knows me knows is NOT my style at all, all this dress propaganda being fed to me and Air Supply was playing. I remember actually thinking, “oh brother. What have I gotten myself into.”

But it wasn’t so bad. It was only weird for me because I didn’t have high expectations for or too much attachment to what my dress would look like. That said, upon the umpteenth question about whether the one I was wearing was THE dress, I let our consultant know, quite clearly, that I’m the kind of woman who can love a lot of dresses. I’m not sure what that says about me based on her math.

Tip five: No photos. Wait, what?

Apparently this is commonplace in independent bridal shops. We were warned when we first started and then when we later took a break so Amy could try on bridesmaid dresses, the woman (not our consultant) reminded her as she hung her selections in a dressing room. Honestly, I found it gauche not to mention out of touch. I understand that they don’t want to have you go out and buy the same dress someplace else – there are several measures in place to prevent this, also weird – it comes across as threatened and insecure. I mean, if you want me to buy from you, then sell me.

Tip six: Know how much you want to spend.

We had a budget in mind and its flexibility was one of the first questions we were asked upon our arrival. In the end, we narrowed our selections down to three and then I tried those three on again. (A side note: when I’d been asked what I wanted in a dress, there was one thing I said I wasn’t crazy about…two of the three finalists had the exact feature that I was convinced that I didn’t want. Evidently, my slate wasn’t quite blank enough.) Once the best of the three was identified, we dressed it up with a veil and a necklace and a bouquet. It was really, really nice. It was within our (flexed) budget. Then all of a sudden, the existing (not mention flexed) budget was out of my comfort zone.

Wedding dresses are expensive and this one was relatively low in price, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about how much that could buy in some other venue. Like travel. Or…I don’t know. Other stuff. (Just travel.)

Tip seven: Wedding dresses don’t fit like other dresses. Or clothes. Even if you’re not like me and you don’t wear athletic clothing most days, you are probably used to having some give in your clothes. A little stretch, a little room, a little flexibility. Wedding dresses don’t. They fit you exactly and though I knew that going in, it still took a little getting used to. And don’t worry about what you wear under there. I got a little obsessed about this and it was all for naught. I didn’t wear a bra at all and as long as your underwear aren’t a really bright colour, which pair you choose probably won’t make a difference.

Of course, you aren’t finished with just the dress because then there are accessories: a veil, a necklace, a hairpiece, shoes, a belt, perhaps. And finally, alterations. We’ve heard estimates between $300 and $700 for them. Luckily for me, consensus says that I’d be off the hook for most of that since I’m tall and the heftiest alteration costs result from taking length off of several layers of dress. That isn’t a problem for me.

We left the Bridal Gallery without a dress, but with an intention to think about it. And think about it, we did.

In the end, I went shopping again a few weeks later with just my mom and aunt. Amy couldn’t be there because she lives out of town, but she was as close as she could be via iMessage. We tried one lead we’d received, but which turned out to be a total dud and then we threw a hail mary pass and headed to David’s Bridal in Langley.

I was aware of David’s because it’s a big chain of stores. It’s the place where a lot of women end up buying their dresses and, as one of those women, I understand exactly why.

Selection. David’s had just as many dresses, but in a much more expanded range of sizes. At Bridal Gallery, they only had a few sizes in a dress so you either had to squeeze into a size or two below or swim around in a size or two too big and try to picture what the dress would look like. David’s inventory was much more complete – if one size didn’t fit, the consultant simply got you the next smaller/bigger one. They also measured me which is something that never happened at the two other shops. The others just went by clothing sizes.

Pricing. Being a chain, David’s was better able to offer us some deals – $100 off promotion plus a $50 off coupon I’d picked up at the Wedding Fair the week before. They can better offer breaks and they have also kept in mind the wide range of budgets. There were plenty of dresses available for much lower prices than we saw in other places.

Extras. Again, their chain status enables them to add on extras like a dress cleaning and preservation program. Buy your dress there and you can buy the package that allows you to send it off via UPS when you’re done and have it cleaned and boxed up for preservation (if you so wish.)

Photos. This is something that really bugged me on our first trip. When I explained Amy’s status and geographic challenge, our consultant did whatever she could to help us include her. She even took the pictures for us (and of us) to share with Amy and commemorate the purchase. As an active user of social media, this was big for me and, while it wasn’t the point that made the sale, it was really nice.

I usually prefer to shop in independent shops so it took a little soul searching and justification to be able to pull the trigger on a dress from a chain store. Here’s what was missing from my purchase that could have been found elsewhere.

Impeccable service. The chain experience was complete with a young and inexperienced consultant. She was perfectly good and may someday even be great, but she wasn’t a pro. She needed direction, she didn’t always listen and if we hadn’t been so intent to buy (I was NOT going wedding dress shopping again) she probably wouldn’t have made the sale. At the Bridal Gallery, our consultant had honed skills. She knew how to talk the talk and she really knew how to make the sale. If I hadn’t coached myself so thoroughly to not buy on our first visit, we’d have been done in two hours.

Intimate environment. Our area was private, it was quiet and it was comfortable for my guests. There was only space for one bride in my room. At David’s there were fifteen change rooms. If they were all being used, that space would get very crowded. Luckily, we were the only group there when we went so we had space. I probably would have walked if I had to share it.

In the end, I am so happy that I did things the way I did – I got the really fancy experience of shopping for a dress in the kind of store that makes a bride feel like a BRIDE!! while I bought a dress that I love and that came at a more affordable price. It was a really fun adventure, but I’m also glad it’s over!

Did you love or hate shopping for a wedding dress? Do you have any tips to add?

Weekend, glorious weekend

This work week was a beast. A real brutal beast. It finished with a fifteen-hour day on Friday and a few hours in the office on Saturday – something I almost never do, but it was unavoidable. That was mostly okay, though, since we were displaced from our apartment for the day anyway because it was being shown to potential new renters (last minute preparation for which was sandwiched in between my 10pm arrival at home on Friday and our trip out to board the cats – thank you to our wonderful vet clinic – first thing in the morning.) Brutal beast. Thankfully Kevin picked up my slack.

He wanted six of these

On the upside: very quiet time in the office – only two people even knew I was there, quick visits with these work friends I never get a chance to really see like normal people because it’s always just work otherwise, a defined out time that allowed me enough opportunity to clear up what was really pressing, but didn’t allow me any leeway when it came to staying longer because I really could have stayed all day and still not caught up…

Something about my personality allows me to (mostly) leave the office behind. Once I walk out the door, I am OUT THE DOOR. I don’t take work home with me or dwell on my task list when I’m not there. (That isn’t to say I don’t catch myself working through creative solutions at random moments when my mind wanders – that totally happens.) I am pretty good at keeping my day job and my life separate.

Polka dot dishes!

So, once Kevin picked me up from the office, we were off to the day’s main event: creating a gift registry! We have signed up for a couple of these and this was the first. We arrived at Bed Bath and Beyond perfectly on time (though I was STARVING) and they were (mostly) prepared for our appointment. It was quite simple – they confirmed our information (we did our first address change!) and handed the scanner over to Kevin. For a couple of hours, we wandered the store and in the end, we scanned about thirty items in total. That was definitely a success considering the only thing I had in mind before we got there was a new set of measuring cups. (But, hey, while I have you I need to choose between food processors – this 7-cup pro model or this 8-cup elemental model? I just know you’re going to have an answer for this one, Lexie. 😉 ) It was a delicate balance between envisioning adding all that cool stuff into our collections and contemplating all the work we have been doing towards decluttering and minimizing. But we had a good time, lots of laughs, agreed on almost everything and went for really good pizza when we were done. 🙂

It’s amazing that the snow that sidelined our trip and caused utter chaos everywhere last weekend is all but a distant memory now. Someone had rolled up balls of snow that were at least as tall as me and even they have melted to almost nothing.

Reading has been my passion these past few days. It’s been all I want to do. If you want to know what I’m reading (spoiler: EVERYTHING), let’s connect on Goodreads.

I also republished this summary of our trip to Las Vegas after I was reminded that it was at exactly this time last year. That was such a fun trip. <3

Today, we’re going to do another registry and fill the rest of the day with one of my favourite things of all – wandering. Also, tomorrow is Family Day here in BC so, YAY, long weekend!

What has been/will be on your agenda this weekend?

Set the date!

It’s #WeddingWednesday!

I know, I know. When we got engaged, I swore that I wouldn’t turn into an obsessed bride. Let’s be real, people who talk about one thing and one thing only are boring. But people who are planning a wedding who talk only about planning their wedding? They’re the worst.

I don’t plan on talking about our wedding a lot, but I’ll be honest, I don’t really know where to start. I have zero wedding fantasies. I never dreamed of getting married. In fact, I realize now that I have probably never even thought about my wedding day before now. Truth is, Kevin has more expectations for our wedding than I do. I’m a blank matrimonial slate.

This is a scene from my favourite wedding

When it comes to decision making, I have my own ideas, but I like to factor in the experience and advice of others. I usually ask around before making a choice, but I can’t say I always follow the guidance I receive. I like having conversations around the decisions to be made and then I draw my own conclusions. I suspect it will be no different with the what seems like a million decisions that we’ll be making over the coming months.

My wedding crowdsourcing began shortly after we announced our engagement. I asked nearly everyone who congratulated us two questions:

  • What did you love about your wedding?
  • What would you do differently?

I’m going to move away from that for one short paragraph to share one of the most delightful discoveries I made after we got engaged: weddings make people really happy. Like, really happy. Women get all gushy, men need to tell you all about how they proposed. It’s sweet, really. And something I never expected.

So, as I started to ask around, one piece of advice seemed to be more common than any other. That advice was to start with a date.

That seemed reasonable. So, I asked around.

Here were some of the responses:

Before we could really get down to the business of picking our own date, we had one major thing to resolve: where (geographically) would we wed? At first, we talked about a destination wedding, but we soon realized that there was no realistic destination – we’re not exactly beach people and it’s unlikely that anyone other than one aunt would appreciate my suggestion of Chicago. (Her response when I joked about it was, with a laugh, “I’ve never been there so I fully support that decision!”) We thought about getting married near where Kevin is from and, to be truthful, while he is somewhat indifferent to it, I haven’t entirely ruled that out yet. Without getting too far ahead of ourselves, when we consider our guest list, he has many more people on his side than I have on mine. I suspect I’ll be quite stingy with my invitation list because if I’ve learned one thing about myself since we got engaged, it’s that I feel a certain degree of intimacy is required if you are going to witness me getting married. But, I’m sure I’ll talk about that a little later on.

As it stands, we are loosely committed to getting married in BC. I’d love to do a seriously local theme, but, again, all tentative at the moment.

If it was up to me, I’d plan a wedding on a Thursday in the middle of a winter month, but Kevin thinks that a midweek wedding is weird and he vetoed the two months I’d originally suggested: my favourites, February and November.

One big consideration for both of us: out of town guests. Invitations will be sent far and wide to friends and family all over Canada and the US. Since many of those guests are important to one or both of us, I feel like we need to consider travel planning in our date selection. A long weekend could be a viable option. Fortunately, the west coast is a nice destination at almost any time of year so at least we’re not sticking travelers with an unappealing destination.

I’ve been well-versed in the “just do what feels right for us” advice (that’s probably the second most common piece I’ve received) and I’m fully comfortable with the idea that we can’t/won’t please everyone.

We leaned towards fall because the heat of a summer wedding is very unappealing. Autumn in BC is really beautiful and the weather is usually sunny and warm long into October. Fall colours are nice and Thanksgiving (in Canada – we don’t actually call it Canadian Thanksgiving ;)) is the second Monday of the month. A date over that long weekend lends itself nicely to a theme of gratitude and y’all already know that’s a big thing for me. If we refer back to Amy‘s Twitter recommendation of using math, we could reasonably jump on 10 + 7 = 17, a Saturday (so that it isn’t weird for my groom.)

So, that’s the way we’re leaning: October 7th, 2017. Not written in stone, but it’s the date we’re working with for now.

Still, I want to hear your thoughts!

When did you get married? How did you pick the date? As a groom, bride, attendant or guest, what are some great wedding dates you’ve been a part of it? Do you have any examples of bad ones??

And, if you’re interested, when I turned to modern day wedding authourity, The Knot, here’s what they had to say.